How a mosquito
taught me about succes:
One evening
I was chasing mosquitos in my bedroom, and I was rather lousy at getting them
with my hand. Even though they were right there on the wall! Every time I
tried, it was as if my hand was too late… as if it was hesitating a bit. It
made me think:
What am I
doing wrong?
My answer
was: Actually, I don’t really want to
hit them and smear them onto the wall. Maybe that is what’s stopping me from
actually getting them? Maybe my brain is telling my arm to hesitate, because
part of me doesn’t want to smear the poor thing onto the wall!
So I tried
to prove my theory by deciding to really
want to hit this next mosquito. And it worked!
I had
encountered my own psychic barrier – and overcome it, just by deciding to hit
the damn insect.
Since that
evening I’ve begun to notice that effect in many other situations, in my personal
life and in the world in general. So, for instance; it’s impossible to score without having a
goal - but then it’s equally impossible to score/achieve a goal without
really wanting to!
If you do
not really want to (or fear what you want to do), your brain is going to stop
you from carrying out the action. Your muscles are going to hesitate un-noticeably last second.
I have noticed that
about singing high notes in particular: If I’m afraid that the note will not
come out, then my throat will tighten up and only strangled sounds are going to
escape, and not the beautiful, rich tones I was hoping for.
As my teacher Abbie
Furmansky once said: “There are no high notes in fear”. And the better I got at
trusting myself, the better it sounded.
When really
wanting to do something, some things
are important:
Believe in your own capability in doing so
This may
sound trivial, but self-confidence is a must. Even if there’s only a 40% chance
that you will achieve/score your goal, and a 60% chance that you’ll miss it, go
“all in” on the 40%!
So the cute
girl at the party might turn you down if you ask her… but it’s also possible
that she won’t. And if you don’t give it a shot, you have made the 60% become a
100% all by yourself for not daring.
In Denmark
there’s a saying: “Those, who don’t dare, don’t win”. And that gets me to the next sentence:
Let go of fear
Fear of
failure, but also fear of success: I didn’t want to hit the mosquito with my
hand, remember? I’ve noticed the same effect in big moments of (my) life: Maybe
you don’t really want the new job (or new relationship), because getting it
will affect your whole life? Lots of things will change and not knowing the
outcome is provoking anxiety.
Let go of
that fear, NOW. Go and do what it is, that you want!