How a mosquito taught me about succes

How a mosquito taught me about succes:

One evening I was chasing mosquitos in my bedroom, and I was rather lousy at getting them with my hand. Even though they were right there on the wall! Every time I tried, it was as if my hand was too late… as if it was hesitating a bit. It made me think:

What am I doing wrong?

My answer was: Actually, I don’t really want to hit them and smear them onto the wall. Maybe that is what’s stopping me from actually getting them? Maybe my brain is telling my arm to hesitate, because part of me doesn’t want to smear the poor thing onto the wall!

So I tried to prove my theory by deciding to really want to hit this next mosquito. And it worked!

I had encountered my own psychic barrier – and overcome it, just by deciding to hit the damn insect.

Since that evening I’ve begun to notice that effect in many other situations, in my personal life and in the world in general. So, for instance; it’s impossible to score without having a goal - but then it’s equally impossible to score/achieve a goal without really wanting to!

If you do not really want to (or fear what you want to do), your brain is going to stop you from carrying out the action. Your muscles are going to hesitate un-noticeably last second. 

I have noticed that about singing high notes in particular: If I’m afraid that the note will not come out, then my throat will tighten up and only strangled sounds are going to escape, and not the beautiful, rich tones I was hoping for. 

As my teacher Abbie Furmansky once said: “There are no high notes in fear”. And the better I got at trusting myself, the better it sounded.

When really wanting to do something, some things are important:

Believe in your own capability in doing so

This may sound trivial, but self-confidence is a must. Even if there’s only a 40% chance that you will achieve/score your goal, and a 60% chance that you’ll miss it, go “all in” on the 40%!

So the cute girl at the party might turn you down if you ask her… but it’s also possible that she won’t. And if you don’t give it a shot, you have made the 60% become a 100% all by yourself for not daring.

In Denmark there’s a saying: “Those, who don’t dare, don’t win”. And that gets me to the next sentence:

Let go of fear

Fear of failure, but also fear of success: I didn’t want to hit the mosquito with my hand, remember? I’ve noticed the same effect in big moments of (my) life: Maybe you don’t really want the new job (or new relationship), because getting it will affect your whole life? Lots of things will change and not knowing the outcome is provoking anxiety.

Let go of that fear, NOW. Go and do what it is, that you want!